Thank YOU, in advance, for reading. That’s it, I just appreciate your attention.
This first part of this story sets the stage and provides important context. We’ll get to my pain, and subsequent revelations, I promise.😄
When I was in high school, shoutout Soda Springs High, I had an English/Literature teacher named Mrs. Twiss. One fall day just before lunch, Mrs. Twiss facilitated a real-time, interactive reading/writing assignment.
The entire class was given a landscape starting point and then we would create separate, individual stories from there — sharing parts aloud in real-time for teacher feedback. That landscape was a forest and it could be anywhere so long as it was area of trees.
I could have been triumphing at the summit of highest peak in the world, with my favorite hiking pals, Cliff, Andy, Ryan, and Jesse. Or setting a solo climbing world record. Or having lunch on a day trek with Saved by the Bell’s Kelly Kapowski. (I know, some of you are saying, “who? ok boomer” but she was my celebrity crush back in the day)
So I’m going through the motions of this exercise more focused on the impending lunch bell than anything, when I start picturing huge, fallen trees in my path. Great big California redwood-style trees were laying criss-cross in front of me. Where’d they come from? I don’t know, but here they were making it harder for me to move.
I confusedly blurt out, “Hey Mrs. Twiss, my path has trees in it; huge, fallen trees. What does that mean?”
Now, I don’t know if I was more surprised that this was the response I had come up with, or that I had even responded out loud (at this time of my life, my class contributions were more of the attempted comedic nature and less of the relevant /on-task nature)
Mrs. Twiss, steady as always, drops her glasses a bit, and responds: “think about why, when you can create the path you want, you chose to put obstacles in it.”
Wow. That revelation hit me hard. I was immediately embarrassed for thinking, and even worse, speaking something that based on her response, sounded so ridiculous. In that moment, time stopped. I didn’t want to look to see if my classmates were laughing at me. I didn’t want to move. I just sat there, face frozen in expressionless daze.
I was brought back to reality by the sweet, sweet sound of *riiiiiing*
I was saved by the bell.
I closed my notebook and hopped up in one not-so-smooth motion, tripped over my desk, and was the first one out of class. I walked expeditiously to my locker where I hoped to bury my notes and the memory of that silly exchange — and go get some lunch.
It’s funny looking back. The town of Soda Springs is home of the world’s only captive geyser. Water pressure builds deep underground until payoff time when the pressure is automatically released sending water to the surface and then 100+ feet into the air. Similarly, I had buried this story deep in my subconscious until such time in my life that I apparently needed the payoff.
That payoff came the other night.
It was an fun evening like many others, full of laughs and LEGO building. I was at home, downstairs with our son, who is on a never-ending pursuit to acquire and build every LEGO set in existence. But after he builds a set, he wants to mix it up and combine sets and scenes. Some of you have children of your own, or love the tiny blocks yourself, so regular block-building jam sessions may not come as a surprise. This was one of those times.
Now, like many LEGO households, we have mixed sets in various stages of completion littering the floors of both our upstairs and downstairs. We typically setup on a blanket/rug for easy lift, pour, and return of the tiny shapes into the huge plastic tubs, thus creating optimal cleanup. But there’s often quick glances and a lot of assumption involved that every LEGO piece is completely cleared.
I needed to run upstairs, so I told our son, “Keep building, I’ll be right back.” So I jump up, begin the stair ascension, and five steps up, yep, you guessed it: my bare foot was met with a lurking LEGO, and an immediate, sharp pain.
Disclaimer: If you’ve been in this scenario, you immediately assume the LEGO has gone all the way through your foot. You build it up in your mind that it’s so much worse than it is and you swear your foot was going to fall off. Nod with me if you know this feeling. (Thank you for your participation😄)
So here I am; cry-laughing, teary-eyed, standing on one good foot mid-stair, editing curse words. Out of nowhere, Mrs. Twiss’ words came cascading to the surface of my thoughts and positioned themselves perfectly into my current predicament. Suddenly, life made sense.
As Doris Lessing, the British author who won the 2007 Nobel prize for literature, puts it: “That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.”
In that moment, I understood this perfect metaphor: We have opportunity to control our paths but we don’t seize that opportunity.
We’re putting trees in our paths and allowing LEGOs to obstruct our own way.
Sure, we may be climbing with grand ambitions, and striving with the best intentions, but how often is that based on conjecture?
“[my action] got me to where I am now, so doing the same thing should yield the same result the next time”.
This assumption is called apophenia, and it’s a tendency to mistakenly perceive connections and meaning between unrelated things.
Instead of taking time to make the path optimal for ourselves we add to the clutter — sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. We add obstacles that are unnecessary. Sometimes we are in fact, our own worst enemy.
We do this every day by creating or allowing in acts, people or situations that block us from what’s best for us, and ultimately aren’t good for our greater good. And then we let this chaos dictate our present and future actions.
Now, maybe we can’t conquer chaos as a whole, but I believe we can at least change our relationship with it.
Here‘s how’:
Today, let’s take time to create the plan instead of be at the mercy of it.
Let’s incorporate light exercise and stretch out instead of waiting for tight lats or a lumbar strain to define our range of mobility.
Let’s leave a few minutes early so we’re not rushed, driving aggressive, and resorting to praying that we hit every stoplight green just to make work in time.
Let’s get adequate rest instead of hoping that $8, venti, double-shot, six-pump, white mocha, with soy, no whip, two Splenda packets, and four shaker taps of cinnamon can keep us awake until the next caffeine opportunity can drag us through the afternoon.
Lets call that person and confirm and communicate instead of assuming they know the plan or what we’re thinking.
Let’s avoid the negativity and toxicity that soaks up our valuable time and attention, blocks our ability to think clearly, is not in our best interest, and puts us on the defensive.
Let’s start with prioritizing proactivity over reactivity and go from there.
Sound good?
Let’s control what we can.
Small steps to a clear path.
Carpe Viam.
Seize the Way.
Seriously, if you read this far, I’m super grateful.
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Here’s to your amazing day ahead!
➕➕➕ Sipp
